How many times have you seen a girl you like, but you didn’t approach because you thought people will notice you getting rejected if she rejects you? Or you thought that other people near the girl would hear your rookie approach, so you ended up not approaching the girl?

This, my fellow playas, is called having the “spotlight effect”. It’s a limiting belief because, in reality, no one cares about you and what you’re doing. People are too concerned with their own lives and insecurities to notice.

Can you remember what the man that stood next to you at 13:15, yesterday, was saying to the woman next to him? Was it his wife, his colleague or a stranger?

Chances are you can’t answer this question if you were at a public place yesterday because you don’t remember any particular man that was standing next to you at 13:15. Why? Because you didn’t give a fuck about the people around you!

So, if you don’t pay attention to strangers, why should strangers pay attention to you?

Minding the spotlight effect is stopping you from getting laid.

I see this with my students all the time. They are always worried that other people are watching them. It’s only after I’ve pushed them into a couple of sets, that they realize that no one gives a damn!

So, stop giving a fuck, and go game those chicks, playa!

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